Hello plus-size world! Here at Shapely Events there has been some talk about some of the difficulties with being plus-sized and having an healthy sex life. Just because you have a little more junk in the trunk doesn't mean you should limit your levels of sexual satisfaction. There are plenty of ways to keep things fun, interesting, and most of all comfortable. We spoke to men and women who are plus-size, men and women who date plus-size people, and people who have been intimate with someone of larger proportion. Here are some of the key things we would like to share.
Turning off the lights
Some find this to be the best way to hide their insecurities however you could be doing more harm than good. Why? you can't see anything, nothing is more awkward than searching for parts on your mates body like a blind person looking for a quarter out of a bag of nickels, and the person who is currently sleeping with you knew you was plus-sized before you took your clothes off and they've accepted that. If it's done to set the mood or the tone, keep a little dim lamp on or something. If not, now it's time for you to accept the fact that someone digs you regardless of your size and is willing to share their body with you. Now you're thinking, it's not just the size. Maybe it's a few scars, a few extra lumps, some cellulite that you've conveniently manage to smooth out with a nice pair of Spanx, maybe your skin sags due to weight loss surgery, or you have an extra roll here or there. This part has to do with YOU. Accept what you are and who you are or change it. If you cannot or will not change it, accept it. Be confident in every aspect and own what you are. Believe it or not, confidence can be your best asset/ally. At the end of the day, if the other person isn't accepting of every bit of you that you put on the plate, well then they must not be that hungry.
Positions, Positions, Positions!
For some, different positions can be our biggest nightmare or our best friend. Depending on how comfortable you are with your body and how well you know your partner, this subject can be a reminder of how great and fun things are or how daunting figuring out who goes where can be. After a team discussing, we dropped some gems.
1) Doggy style seems to be the "go to" position for most. Why? Because it allows for excellent entry with minimal stomach interruption. There are plenty of ways you can spice up this oldie but goodie. Arch that back! Arching is very important. Different degrees of arching can lead to a variety of different sensations. Also listen for your partners cues. Spread them and spread them wide! Those butt cheeks are meant to be toyed with while getting it in leading do a different level of vulnerability and pleasure.
2) Revamp the missionary position by using some of your bedding. With a pillow or two right above the hips/buttock elevates your entry area allowing your mate optimum entry while in the missionary position. Now for the men, use this height to your advantage. Switch up your thrusts a bit listening to cues from you partner as to what feels good and what feels amazing. Give her some front and side action. You should also play with the position of the legs and you can even throw one on the shoulder freeing up the other hand to play with her clit, boobs, or wherever else your hand chooses to wander.
3) Reverse Cowgirl is one of the contributor's favorites stating that "bellies don't bump" in this position. If your stomach is something you're insecure about u may want to try this position. Being that you two aren't facing, you get a nice glimpse of that nice, plump, round ass. Don't forget, while your partner is on top throwing it back, take the opportunity to massage and play with those cheeks.
4) The "Scissors" also received rave reviews due to its numerous variations. It's also a great position if you're tired but haven't ejaculated yet and want to keep going.
5) Don't be afraid to use toys and sex furniture. Toys in particular like a small vibrator or pocket rocket will turn that doggy style or missionary position into a new and exciting means of transporting you to orgasm heaven. Furniture can alleviate so much insecurity and lend so much comfort to positions that may seem a bit tedious and/or impossible to the plus size person. Women, scared of being on top? get yourself a sex trampoline or as some call it a body bouncer. There are also wedges, chairs, swings, and chaises. The possibilities are endless.
Talk Dirty To Me!
Conversation and communication is key! It can also be the gateway to your partner's field of pleasure. Conversation and dirty talk is healthy during sex. It's also a great way to communication your wants, needs, likes, and dislikes. Don't be afraid to tell your partner to move a bit to the left, go harder, softer, faster, or slower. If you know your partner is insecure about his/her stomach, use this opportunity to tell him/her how much you like it. This also lends a level of comfort and may take the edge off the next time you guys have sex. Also use excitement triggers. If you have a phrase or pet name that you know sends your partner through the roof, now's the time to pull that card. After sex, have a conversation. Tell him/her how great it was or point out the highlights of your encounter. If your partner knows what you liked, there is a higher chance that they will do it again the next time.